I know I’ve been absent and silent. I’ve been busy. First it was busy for fun and good times. Then I was busy being in physical pain. And now I am busy being in emotional pain. I will get back to my self. I will update on all the events that have unfolded around me.
But for now. For now all I am thinking about is the pain I feel and the total uselessness I feel. And my complete inability to help relieve tha pain of those around me.
One of my very dear close friends committed suicide a few nights ago. Her name was Aurora. And she was beautiful and smart and funny. And a fabulous mother. Until now. And I can’t understand why. For starters I have never really been able to comprehend suicide. I have always felt that it a cowardly way to try to solve problems. And beyond selfish. I cannot understand the thought process that leads you to that being the answer. But I have friends that have been there and fought through the urge. And though I don’t understand it, I try to listen. And I would have listend to Aurora, too. Had I any clue that this was anywhere in her mind. Last I saw her, which was just a week or so ago, she seemed very happy.
But, what do I know? Not much, I guess.
Anyway, I loved her. And I miss her already.
Tristan, Aurora, and Bella. 2/07
