Remember why you came, and while you’re alive experience

Ah childhood.

Remember fieldtrip day? Not only do you get to be out of school for an entire day, but you get to ride on the bus and eat sack lunches. And usually you are going somewhere cool and fun. Your parents aren’t there to hassle you or wrangle you. Just you, your friends, and the world.

From a kids perspective it’s a great day.

As a parent, it’s a little different.

My baby is riding on a charter bus for an hour each way today. For me this is nerve-racking. It seems like a constant stream of bus related accidents are reported on the news each week. I realize it’s not as many as my mind is conjuring up, but it happens. When I Googled “bus + accident” I was astounded at the 6,120,000 results. Typing in “bus + crash + school” yields you a mere 1,280,000. The first few included: “Fourth teen dies in school bus crash”, “Mechanical issue may have caused bus crash”, “Bus crash kills 22”, and “Ham Lake school bus brash injures 24”. I know I’m crazy and paranoid and overprotective but this terrifies me.

My kid was tremendously excited about today’s field trip. The thrill of riding on the Charter bus topped his list of things he was excited about. He’s actually traveling to the Alabama Shakespeare Festival Theater in Montgomery. And I have to admit, of that, I’m quite jealous. And Tristan was pretty excited about seeing the play. And as he sat there rambling on and on excitedly about the trip my mind was spinning. I was excited for him. But at the same time all these horrible scenarios were going through my parental head. What if the bus crashes, what if he gets separated from his group, what if he wanders off and no one notices, what if he gets abducted and I’m not there to watch him, what if what if what if……

I know what you’re thinking. I know I’m being crazy. And I have these kind of thoughts constantly. I don’t let it control me. I try my hardest not to let it affect Tristan and his fun. I let him go on field trips and to other kids houses (I always panic about guns being accessible in others houses. I saw a commercial once that scared me for life. It showed parents relaxing and commenting on how glad they were that their son was next door playing with his friend, and then if flashes to two young boys and one of them says “hey you wanna see my dads gun” and the other kid says “yeah, cool” and then they are looking at the gun and then you hear a gun shot as the screen goes black. It was affective. I have been scared ever since). I let him ride his bike and go to the park. But it doesn’t mean this shit isn’t knocking around in my brain.

So here I sit. Trying not to think about it. Trying, unsuccessfully, not to think about it.

In other news: My car is fixed!! Yeah!! Whoo hoo!!! ~I’m jumping up and down, you can’t see me but I am~ All thanks to Guy. Guy is amazing, a lifesaver, a fanfuckingtastic friend. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again and again: I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve such amazing friends but I thank God, Guan Yin, Buddha, Shiva, Vishnu, Rama, Krishna, Allah, Amaterasu Omikami, Lao-Tse, Goddess, Bahá’u’lláh, Haile Selassie, and whoever else I can thnk of every single day for them!!


One response to “Remember why you came, and while you’re alive experience

  1. i guess this wouldn’t be a good time to remind you Brittany’s school bus was involved in a very stupid accident earlier this year while on a trip. but no one was hurt.
    Relax sweetie. He’ll be fine. Just Breathe.

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